Why i have been quiet

When the new year came around I was determined that I would get better at blogging. I love getting to write down my feelings and sharing our love for the outdoors with all you moms and dads out there, but, as you might have been able to tell, I didn't get much better. If anything I have probably taken a little time away from social media as a whole. 

Between this pregnancy, new responsibilities, and hardships of those around me I feel like this year's mantra has been "simplify". We have had so many experiences thrown in our face that have made us stop in our tracks and recenter on what matters most. Our marriage, our children, our close friends, and family and our faith. I know I have spoken about it frequently on Instagram so I hope I don't feel like a broken record but it is amazing how, when I break it down, there really isn't a whole lot that drives me in life and there really isn't that much that makes me feel like I am living my life to it's fullest. 

Many of the experience I have had and have seen friends walk through lately are too personal to share but I feel a weird amount of gratitude to be able to walk with them, at least in a small measure, so that I can be reminded of what matters most. It has also been such a humbling and testimony building experience to be blessed to serve those dear friends. I know without a doubt that our Heavenly Father relies on us to be His hands and His voice when He needs someone's prayer answered in a tangible way. I feel so lost sometimes but in those moments when I am doing His work I feel right. I feel at peace, I feel uplifted and I know that he not only loves me but loves each one of us so individually and lovingly. 

There have also been small moments that have still managed to hit me like a freight train. Tonight was snuggling next to my baby. She was so sweet and happy laying there with me then started pointing out all of her boo-boos to me. At first I was just basking in this simple moment with her until it hit me how tiny she was. Her little arm is not much longer than my hand yet there she is feeling like such a big girl. It was so sweet to be pulled back in so fulling into what was happening right at that moment. To focus on her, on her tiny fingers, chubby arm and sweet peaceful face. Moments like this are so dear to me and help me through life in so many ways. 

So I have not been the most social on social media, or the best at responding to all the wonderful comments. I have not been able to keep up with all the beautiful families that I follow on Instagram, or stay as active and "outdoorsy" as people probably expect. Honestly though, I am okay with that. I am okay to slow down. I am okay that I read books, cuddle with my littles, make meal after meal for friends, and serve with all that I have. This time in my life is about slowing down, living as consciously and fully as I can and just simplifying all the excess in my life.